Rare Marketing

2 min read

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We renamed the Indians.

By “we” I mean the Well Done crew. And by “the Indians” I mean the local minor league baseball team (who, I should add, has neither heard about, nor approved, this re-naming). Why rename the Indians, you ask? Because they play in a league that includes the New Orleans Baby Cakes, the El Paso Chihuahuas, and the Albuquerque Isotopes. We could be having WAY more fun with our team’s name. So we came up with a new one. Are we serious? You decide: We mocked up some uniforms, invented a mascot, and even came up with merchandise ideas. Head to our website for the big reveal.

Who ordered the #2?

I had a friend who starred in a McDonald’s commercial. He walked into a party with a sack of Big Macs and the partygoers went wild. The way they reacted, you would’ve thought he’d brought a keg of Honey Brown and a jar of ecstasy. This Canadian McDonald’s commercial carries on the tradition with another “slice of life” spot, and it hurts to watch. With dialogue including “this doesn’t make sense,” and “I don’t care,” this commercial is either a post-modernist critique or a five-alarm grease fire. Either way, it’s a steamer.

All your copy are belong to us.

I used to believe that my copywriting job was relatively safe from usurpation by our impending robot overlords. Because machines surely can’t write like humans—or can they? Companies like Goldman Sachs and Apple are already investing millions in copywriting programs designed to put us humble writers out of work. So when Johnny 5 hands you a pink slip, don’t say I didn’t warn you—just remember there’s always money in the banana stand.

Delivering the stones like nobody’s business.

It would have been more appropriate in March, but I just can’t let a masterpiece like this go unnoticed. This Hampstead Mulch and Stone commercial is a brilliant homage to Dick Vitale, and it takes production value to new levels—I mean look at that prosthetic forehead. They truly spared no expense. And the “shred the hardwood” pun is an easy 9/10.

And aloha means goodbye.

SportsCenter had a great run, but it’s over at this point. What was once a cultural phenomenon is yet another victim of cord-cutting, and ESPN is dangling by a thread. But SportsCenter was the undisputed king of sports news for many years—a fact that can be at least partly attributed to a genuinely smart, funny promotional campaign that ran for decades. Many of the SportsCenter ads are classics, but there is only one to rule them all.