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Ikean’t take it anymore.

The new 25-minute ASMR (autonomous sensory meridian response) video from Ikea makes me uncomfortable, to say the least. At first it seems weirdly condescending. But condescension turns to mania as the voiceover whispers and rubs various fabrics. Around the nine-minute mark, it becomes akin to audial Chinese Water Torture. You have been warned.

This guy is such a Dorff.

You may remember Stephen Dorff from classic films like Deuces Wild and Feardotcom, but it looks like his lasting legacy might be this Blu E-Cigarettes commercial. He manages to torpedo the brand in just one minute—a worthy accomplishment, even for the man who inspired one of Hollywood’s greatest maxims: “He can sink a movie faster than Stephen Dorff.”

Pittyful.

Speaking of questionable celebrity endorsements, this Chanel No.5 commercial starring Brad Pitt is always worth revisiting. It was a social phenomenon a few years ago (SNL even did a skit about it), and for good reason: It’s the Hindenburg of television commercials. I want to make sure that people never, ever forget this happened.

Playing tag.

Taglines are a lost art—which is ironic, considering most people these days don’t have the attention span to read beyond one. With harrowing recent examples like “Empower the drive.” (Infiniti) and “One Planet. One Health.” (Danone), you might think good taglines were dead forever. But fear not, for back in March Emerald Nuts came up with this. Take that, Mr. Peanut.  

It doesn’t click.

This new ad from Royal Dutch Airlines has good intentions. But it’s one of the most poorly thought-out concepts of all time. How many people approved this? Do the Dutch not understand metaphors? It was a nice thought, but let’s keep airplane safety belts the way they are—because when you’re stuck in turbulence, it very much matters what’s clicking.