Who Are We?

I once wrote a shoe company script for John Madden that included the line: “At the end of the day, my dogs are really barking.” One time Peyton Manning made fun of me for wearing “denim on denim.” I once made $150 for writing “Free stickers inside!” for a Fruit of the Loom underwear package. A client once fired me for pointing out to his administrative assistant that you don’t need the extra “e” in “judgment.” I was the high scorer on the Butler Soccer club (two goals) as a freshman in 1977 and Butler Frisbee golf champion in 1978. Once a year, I get to sing on stage.

I have been called many things: passionate, demanding, smart, crazy, decisive, bossy, ambitious, stubborn, curious. One thing I’ve never been known for is being content. I’m at my best when I have a goal and a plan to get there. Take the time I wanted to have “Michelle Obama arms.” I hired a personal trainer, bought weights and a medicine ball, studied macros, planned a weeks’ worth of meals and workouts every Sunday, and asked friends to hold me accountable. Man, my arms looked good.

With all this Type A energy, you might be surprised that I preach an 80/20 rule at work. Plan for 80% and be open to opportunities the rest of the time. As Ferris Bueller says, “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.”

When my daughter was two, I started taking care of her during the day so my wife could go back to work. I carried a notebook on our outings, thinking I’d work on writing ideas, but I didn’t do much writing. Instead, the notebook filled with pictures of Big Bird my daughter was always asking me to draw. Despite months of practice, I never quite got the hang of his beak, which must be very carefully shaped and proportioned. You have to get that part right, or he just doesn’t seem like himself.

I love to dance, but was always the student in ballet class that required head-to-toe posture adjustments. As soon as I was properly set in first position, we’d move on to second—and my teacher would have to adjust my position all over again! Maybe that explains my love for flamingos: They have impeccable balance on one leg, while I don’t have good balance on two. It helps that I love individuality, being around people, and warm climates as much as these hot pink creatures. Flamingos are my spirit animal.

I’ve never been one to stay idle. Even in high school: from ultimate Frisbee to art classes to learning design, I always stayed pretty busy. I’m still adding new hobbies—my wife, a fitness buff, just got me into working out (and that’s been great for my Frisbee game).

But for all this activity, what having kids has taught me most is patience. With a five- and two-year-old, both of whom are high-energy and high-strung, the little things can get amplified fast. So while I still don’t like to be idle, I’m learning how to be patient.

“People used to ask me why I always wear black. My response to them was that the people are what add color to my life; no need to clutter it up with my clothes, too.” – Diane Keaton

You’re probably thinking, “What is this girl doing quoting Diane Keaton—she’s a little off her rocker.” Agreed. However, black is my favorite color. You’ll see me wearing some form of black almost every day. It’s a classic, a color that goes with any outfit and situation.

Growing up, my mom used to dress me in big, pink dresses, the kind held up with tulle beneath the skirt, my hair in bouncy curls from sleeping in sponge curlers all night. She created the ultimate girly girl, and dressing me in bright colors only amplified my loud, bubbly personality.

But if I had a dollar for every time a friend sent me the meme that reads “It’s such a beautiful day outside, I think I’ll wear black,” I’d be rich. Wearing black didn’t begin as a conscious choice, but somewhere along the line I’d had enough: Enough with the pink tutus, and enough with uncomfortable nights spent sleeping in hair curlers. So I’ll stick to Diane Keaton’s mantra, and let my relationships add the zest to my life.

I am the youngest of five. Fortunately (or unfortunately), it seems I embody many of the personality traits that go along with being “the baby.” While confidence and risk-taking can both be virtues, in this tragic tale they lead only to an unfortunate run-in with the Lazarus escalator.

Flashback to Molly Elizabeth, age five: fierce, bold, and fashion forward. A trip to the mall is a treat, and I’m ready to shop ‘til I drop in search of “must-have” Little Mermaid bedding located on the second floor. With housewares in sight I sprint up the wrong escalator, my foot slips, and the weird metal prongs of the escalator slice straight into my knee, leaving war wounds I carry to this day.

Moral of this story? Don’t run UP the DOWN escalator!

I called the Milan-Malpensa Airport at least six times in two days before I was reunited in the Room of Misfit Luggage with my precious in-case-my-big-suitcase-gets-lost bag. I might be a little Type A (I’m underselling it), but I like to think of myself as determined and driven. I love to be organized–even my lists have sublists. Office supplies make me happy. I have more notebooks and pens than one person should own. That said, I do remind myself to take time to relax every once in a while with photography, face masks, and episodes of Real Housewives, Full House, and Chef’s Table.

I am a product of the Indianapolis Public School system. During my 13-year tenure I experienced several (retrospectively) amusing circumstances. Among many other things, I was hit in the back of the head with a snowball in 10th-grade French class, I was punched in the face by a girl in 9th-grade history class, and on my first day of middle school, I was jumped in the bathroom by a hulking beast of a boy in front of most of my classmates. But there were things that happened that I’m thankful for, too. Things that helped shape who I am today. Things like being hit with a snowball, punched in the face, and beaten up in the bathroom.

I have always enjoyed history. I love learning about what things used to be like and how people lived, and I’ve found that art is always the center of any era and shapes a city’s culture.

I also think I was born in the wrong era, and that I should have been born in the ’60s. I love the ’60s art, architecture, fashion, colors, fashion icons…literally everything. My favorite color is what I like to call ’60s Pea Green, and my entire house is filled with ’60s furniture that I either found at antique shops or received as family heirlooms. My favorite piece is the Brigitte Bardot portrait hanging in my entryway that most people think is weird. But I love it.

If I only had a warehouse, like Joanna Gaines does, to store all of my antique finds…

I’ll leave you with my favorite quote, from Audrey Hepburn—a ’60s icon, of course: “For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone.”

Born and raised a Hoosier, I just graduated from Indiana University and am doing my best at this “real world” thing. I’m from Evansville, right on the Kentucky border. My entire family lives there, and we’re all super close, so the move to Indy was a big step. I love the South, but for some reason every new chapter moves me further north.

I’m a huge sports fan—IU basketball, the Colts, the Pacers, the Cardinals. I played softball for 12 years, the one wearing a face mask on the pitcher’s mound. The tan lines from that were great.

I can’t sit in the same spot for a long time, but when I get into a Netflix binge, you can find me watching Friends, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, or The Office. I live by dry humor and sarcasm, but I’m also a sucker for romance.

I’m also an 80s fanatic. Everything from music to movies to the way people dressed. My 13th birthday party was 80s-themed, and I’ve been to a Def Leppard concert. You could say I was born in the wrong decade. Although being that confusing age where no one can really classify you as a Millennial or a Gen Zer is kind of neat.

My first name is Abigail. I was named after my great-grandmothers, Abilonia and Gail. My dad used to call me Peanut because I was born so small. As I got older, he started calling me Bean Head due to its apparent shape. My college girlfriends call me Little Abbie. My relatives call me Abs. I wish it was because I have great abs, but I like dessert too much for that. My husband’s friends call me Abbie Bear. My husband calls me Baby Doll after a comment my father-in-law made before we got married. I told my husband that was not going to be a thing, which just cemented the nickname. I should have known better. On the days when I go too long without food, he calls me Crabbie. I love people and I’m socially awkward. You can just call me Abbie.

I’ve never been much of an athlete. Growing up, I tried and failed at just about every sport. Soccer? Clearly my head (and body) is not in the game. Swimming? Sure, I gave it a shot…until a kid short-stopped me during lap practice one day causing me to take a whole lot of water up my nose. Little League? Golf? I tried those too, but apparently most sports require something called hand-eye coordination, which isn’t a quality I possess. As I grew older, I found other things I excelled at—like people. I like people. I get people. And I thoroughly enjoy working in a role that centers around people.

Here are a few things to know about me:

• I’m a born-and-raised Michigander who traveled to Indy to become a Butler Bulldog. I’ve lived in Indy for over 12 years, but I still refuse to call myself a “Hoosier.”
• When I’m not out exploring all Indy has to offer, you’ll find me at a concert, hiking at Eagle Creek, at home watching Bravo, or cooking.
• Talking about trashy reality TV or anything on Bravo is my love language.
• If you need to get on my good side, just bring me a fountain Diet Coke and a bag of Doritos.